Well well, my good intention of resuming regular updates just keep getting more ridiculous. I may be able to manage it better this time if I don't try to catch everyone up on the past four months all in one update!
First off, the birth was a great success -- fast and intense, so that poor Yaejin hardly had time to catch her breath once we got to the hospital, but we did feel God's hand on many of the details of the ordeal.
We were blessed with a truly expert doctor -- her reputation in the city is second to none (a coworker asked me after the fact where we had had the baby and when I told her she looked it up and said "Oh, I don't know this hospital but this doctor is famous."), and after our experience we wholeheartedly agree that her reputation is well-merited. We had actually gone that morning for a regular check up and she said "I think you'll be back tonight." She was right about that. She also seemed to know all the ways to facilitate a healthy natural birth without injury to mother or baby.
We could not have asked for a more ideal time for baby Yuna to come to us. I alluded before to concerns about hospital access. Essentially our private hospital is undergoing expansion and was planning to close down from the 18th and we would have to be moved to the public hospital across the street if the baby came after that (later they told us they would try to work it out for us to still use their hospital unofficially). When she ended up coming on the 15th, the hospital was already closed down except for previously scheduled patients like us. This meant that there was hardly anyone else in the hospital when we went -- indeed, when we arrived around 12:30am I was afraid we'd have to wait for the doctors to drive over and let us in, as the front lights were out and the door was locked! But when we knocked a nurse came from a back office where she had been expecting us. Thanks to the unusual status of the hospital we never saw anyone in the hospital who wasn't employed there, so it felt like the building was devoted to us.
Another aspect of our fortuitous timing was that it took place right in the middle of Mongolia's big summer holiday, for which most Mongolians take off work for a week or two and flee to the countryside (true nomads at heart, the Mongolians feel cramped in the city and jump at the chance to get back to the sparse plains when they can). For that week or so the traffic is amazing (or, as we'd consider it in my hometown, normal) and the drive to the hospital that usually takes 45 minutes could be done in 15!
All of these conveniences turned out to be crucial blessings, because in the end we barely made it to the birthing room in time. After the nurse checked us in, we had to take the stairs up to the fourth floor! (The elevator was down for the construction, naturally). And it was at this point that Yaejin's contractions started kicking into high gear. At each little landing where the stairs turned she would have to stop and double over at a 90° angle while holding onto my shoulders or arms for support. When we made it upstairs and got out suitcase in our room we thought we'd have a while before needing to move to the birth room but pretty much as soon as we got there Yaejin was experiencing perpetual contractions with hardly time to recover between. The doctors were trying to ask us questions about this and that, but I could only understand the most basic ones and Yaejin was in a delirium of pain too much to comprehend what they were asking us. The nurses too seemed surprised that she wasn't getting any breaks to recover, but predicted (correctly) that it meant the birth would be quick. Of course the downside to that was the intensity of that shorter period. Leading up to the birth Yaejin had been watching many informative and vloggy videos on the internet about birth, and we were fully anticipating to have a long night ahead of us with breaks between contractions, but it wasn't like that at all, as Yaejin recounts:
"All the videos I've watched and blogs
I've read seemed to say that moms got contractions, but they had breaks in
between. They had time to put on music, to get some water, to talk with their
husbands; some even take short naps! But mine was so different and I was very
scared that it was going to go on [that way] for hours, and I really thought I wouldn't be
able to do it. When the doctor asked me if I wanted an epidural I said yes,
but she checked me and said, "Nope, it's too late! The baby's coming very
soon. You can do it!" I didn't know how "soon" it was going to
be, but it actually was pretty soon. They told me if I felt like I wanted to
push, I can start pushing, but I never really felt like I wanted to start
pushing! I just thought pushing means this will
stop soon, so I just started pushing and they told me I'm doing great, that
she's right there. After several times of that, they were shouting, "It's
really close! You're doing good! You can't stop now or else the baby's going to
have a hard time breathing!" So then I just pushed as hard as I could a
few more times and amazingly she was born, our little Yuna Lynn! I don't
remember everything too clearly after that, as I was in a state of shock [and/]or exhaustion"
All in all, the baby was born right around 2 hours after we first knocked on the door of the hospital, and had we been 15-20 minutes later i'm not sure how I could have gotten her up those 4 flights of stairs! So it was truly providential that there was no traffic and no waiting at the hospital.
When we were in the birthing room but before they got Yaejin in the bed/chair thing she was doubled over hanging on to me for pretty much the entire time. It was starting to be strenuous for me holding her up like that! My back was in pain and toward the end I was really concentrating on staying upright and not wobbling, but I told myself no matter what happens there's no way I can tap out or say anything while my wife is half-dying in agony right in front of me! Still, I admit to being relieved when they told me to help her onto the operating bed/chair thing. From that point it was quite a harrowing experience as I would lift her head up when she pushed and she would be straining her whole body and like holding her breath so that it was difficult not to imagine what it might look like if something went wrong, which made it a genuine relief for me each time she inhaled again after laying back down.
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One of the earlier pictures |
Well, I suppose those of you who have been through this already know all those sensations, and those who haven't probably aren't too interested in the finer details unless you're soon to undergo the trial yourself. For any such reader my advice would be to be prepared for the different possibilities, but don't rely too much on your experience being quite like anyone else's!
Toward the end of the labor I was hot and parched as can be, and I presumed Yaejin must be even more so. I thought several times of running for water, but there was never a moment I felt I could step away since the bouts would come every 20-30 seconds. Finally after the baby was born and the nurse was wiping her I ran to our room to get the bottle of Pocari Sweat (a Japanese "-ade" style electrolyte drink) we had brought and it worked wonders for me and positively revived Yaejin from her limp and wilted post-partum state. Yuna was born at 2:35am, and we probably got to sleep around 5:00ish or something. I'm not sure -- the first day there in the hospital was a real daze. We had brought all sorts of things to have there -- a book we were reading together, some games to play, etc. -- it seems quite ridiculous now! We pretty much had no desire to do anything but tend to the baby and sleep. Because of the semi-closed state of the hospital, we pretty much had the floor to ourselves, which was nice. The downside was that it meant that there was no kitchen making food! So Yaejin's parents sent us a big bag of things to put in our little room fridge. But we didn't really have a table and were kind of eating out of tupperware, so I ended up hardly having anything at all but thankfully Yaejin was able to replenish herself with it. The next day a nurse gave Yuna a bath and some shots (which she hardly reacted to) and checked Yaejin out so that we could go home. In the end we were able to be picked up around 12:30pm -- about 34 hours in the hospital, and it was such a huge relief to get back to our own apartment and eat and nap and just feel comfortable! For the first month she was about as little trouble as you could possibly ask from a newborn -- cried rarely and slept often. In fact, for the first week we were actually a little anxious about her oversleeping, as it was very difficult to wake her up to eat! In the second month she started being much more work though, sleeping less and growing more opinionated about how she wants to lay or be held.
A final reason that the timing was perfectly ordained was that Yaejin's closest brother would be getting married at the beginning of August, so we needed time for baby and mother to heal and adjust before having numerous international guests coming for that. All in all we were richly blessed in the whole process (not to make light of Yaejin's ordeal, by any means!) and are have been enjoying our little charge for the past four months.
She has become more vocal and is quick to smile and laugh at anyone she identifies as trying to "play."
As for us, it is surreal to consider our new categorical identity as parents, but in practice is it surprisingly natural to fulfill those roles. She's just the cute and helpless baby we have and when she needs something we are the final responsibility to provide it. But it isn't as dramatically awesome in practice as it is in concept. Although I will say that during this Christmas season I feel more impact and wonder at any lyrics regarding Christ coming as a helpless infant to the earth. It's moving to compare that to our own helpless, sometimes crying pitifully little thing.
I think I will leave this part of my updates as its own section here, and write what happened throughout the summer and autumn in a second post.
Preview of those activities: Wedding, Sigler parents' visit, Yaejin taking charge of our church school, churchwide field day, Franklin Graham festival, housing Russian expatriots due to certain geopolitical reasons.
As I post this on Thanksgiving day, of course our greatest sources of thanksgiving are the obvious things -- God's faithfulness, our little daughter, both of our families and friends, and all of you as part of our family of God for your prayers, encouragement, and support in all forms! It is an honor to be united with eachother in the mission of redemption for this dear world and all its people, and we pray for the Lord's blessing to be heavily upon all that you are facing and that He is preparing for you to accomplish.